That smile....Blogmas Day 9

....across the room, your mouth slightly curling upwards, though not much, just enough to show you mean to make a friendly face, but you're getting kinda sad at the same time, so you just awkwardly look somewhere else and hope that she recognized it as a smile.

The kind of smile you give somebody who once has been your friend, not a close one, not one you shared secrets with or told about your dreams and hopes and crushes (God forbid), but a friend anyhow, someone you had a laugh with, could gossip about others with (bad, I know, but we actually did that a lot together) and who came to your birthday party. Somebody who you started to disapprove of more often as time went by, and by the end of one school year, you didn't even want to have much to do with her at all, as she acted loud and annoying at times and just very different from you and your actual friends. So, when y'all didn't talk anymore, it was alright somehow.

I don't mean to sound melodramatic, I'm absolutely fine, and I hope she's fine, too, and I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have a whole lot to talk about anyhow - she never really understood my concept of things, to be honest. Our taste in fashion, for instance, doesn't harmonize at all. If I was getting really serious here, I could add how I'm not guilt free of gossiping about her a little, but as you know, I'm not so much about being serious, so we'll leave that there (and it's just my loveliest friend I've been gossiping with and everyone knows that doesn't really count as we're basically one person).

Where was I? Oh, yes, sometimes I remember the days when we still had classes together later on and we wouldn't go up to each other to talk, but at rare occassions, we seemed to share a moment of mutual understanding, was it regarding a joke someone cracked, or something weird someone said, and then we'd smile that uncomfortable yet friendly smile, and I would feel a spark of that light and superficial but never the less existing connection we once had, and that would be a slightly melancholic but still a nice feeling, just for a few minutes there.

Today, she belatedly congratulated me on my birthday, and there it was again, that smile.

Love,

Rosy Smith