Could be, if only....

....as you probably guessed by my waffling on about imaginary scenarios and the likes, I fantasize a lot. About everything. Going out for dinner tonight, dressing for parties - I even imagined the way I'd flick my eyeliner up the day before I met up with my ride or die. It's either an OCD or an overboarding fantasy induced by reading countless novels since forever. I like to think it's the latter.

Anyways, I actually experienced one of those scenarios yesterday, on my way to meeting her - I ran into a guy from high school at the station whom I used to think was cute. He still is; I just don't think about him anymore. So the situation turned up a little too late for me and instead of trying to convince him of my fabulous self, I was kinda distracted and "hm"d and "ah"d in reaction to him telling me news probably worth more than the occasional mouth sound and beaming smile. It was mainly because he'd blogged about the whole "year abroad gone wrong" thing and I'd read it because that's what I do, I read other people's blogs, too. Didn't mention that to him, though, 'cause this isn't the time to make him think I like him and it would be just my luck to give that impression now, when I have other people, I mean things, on my mind.

And now I've told everyone important about that, which is something I usually put off until I don't need to do so anymore, and it's such a weird feeling to actually be a grown-up, actively-taking-things-in-hands-person for once. It's nice, I feel like. It opens up so many more possibilities. And so many more "could-be"s. It could work out. It could be amazing. It could also be terribly disappointing. But I guess you'll have to take that risk in order to find out what exactly it will be.

Well, if that wasn't a perfectly philosophical start of February then I don't know what is. Don't worry, we'll still have a ball this month.

Let's see what we come up with.

Love,

Rosy Smith