My newsfeed is blowing up....

Okay, let’s get this down. Keeping in touch with old friends, pretending to have a hundred new ones, sharing pretty pics and fun stuff -it’s all good, I get it. I’m cool with it. I can even ignore the unrequested insight on your bathroom interieur if I scroll down fast enough.
But what has gotten hard to ignore recently are the new year’s announcements. It all started the day after christmas (I guess because it’s the season of looove and boys have warm jackets) and I fear that it’s not over yet: every single day a new relationship status popped up on my newsfeed! And it was devastating who paired up with whom- it really makes you wonder what is wrong with this generation. (Oh, you might want to know that the “drunk-people-making-out” from that party have saved their honour by going all fb official. Congrats.)
Still, even though it was already somehow unnerving to read the freaking hundreds of good luck comments, the worst was yet to come.
I swear, you have to yell at me if I ever, ever, in my whole life, post a status on fb in which I tell my boyfriend that I am “lying awake missing my boo luv ya sooo much weve been togehther for a month now luv ya moaar every day baby you n me forevaaaa you my angel i luv ya more then anything baby”-I got a message for ya, “boo”: GET A LIFE!! And get off fb for God’s sake before I comment on that, ‘cause the day will come when I will not only express my thoughts on your need to repeat the basics of your mother language, but also how it is simply not okay to harm your peer’s eyes with the abuse of the term “love”.
And before you even suppose so, I am certainly not so annoyed because I’m jealous or something. You’re in love? Good for you! People are meant to love each other. It’s in the bible.
But people aren’t meant to screw the thought of even looking for a relationship up for the rest of the world by being all over-the-top about it and making us wanna puke all over the rows of pink hearts. If my boyfriend gave me not only a stupid nickname but ALSO made it visible via social media to my uncle, brother, and senior crush, I’d kill him. Verbally. And I’d doubt he’d stay my boyfriend for much longer. Don’t get me wrong, it’s cute to want everyone to know you’re together, it’s just all about the balance. Facebook can be evil. You have to think twice about every single step you take, just so you’re safe. And personally, I think it isn’t neccessary to be so damn obvious about your relationship. And saying “I love you” in the same breath as liking a picture of a barely dressed singer and a cat gif? Not so classy. I like to keep a certain standard, thank you very much.
Oh, Side Note: a one-month lasting romance does not qualify for the amount of “love you forever and evaaa”s that is going on right now. I mean, what if you break up tomorrow? That’s not gonna be a little bit embarrassing, is it? It’s just that everything you said will stay on the internet forever….and evaaa….