It's sad but it's true....

I hate to be cliché. Sometimes I love it, too (I'm a brilliantly logical person). It can be very satisfying to indulge in saying or doing the exact things people expect you to say or do, in an overbording, ridiculing way. However, usually I like to be more surprising than predictable (which is another word for boring, really). Still, here are some clichés I'll have to admit apply to my college life (even though I tried my best not to turn into a walking, talking tumblr account):

Sleep now has a whole new meaning to me. A special place in my heart. I yearn for it like I have certainly never yearned for a guy. My memory of yesterday morning feels a bit mushy, like a close-to-death experience you can't quite remember. I do recall me standing by the tracks, not moving 'cause I was too weak (and cold) to do so. It was just so freaking early. I got coffee, but I must have become resistant to the effect of caffeine, 'cause it just fizzled away in my veines. Poof, you're still tired. I actually participated in class because if I'd had relaxed, I know I'd have gotten knocked out there and then. Sometime this week, I came home around five pm and stirring my dinner (because I hadn't eaten anything proper and I was starving on top of it all), I almost burst into tears because I didn't know how to tell if it was ready yet. Today, I could "sleep in" until 8 am and it's the first time in days that I'm able to write on the train instead of squeezing my eyes together and trying not to drool in front of strangers.

Sometimes I look like crap and don't even care. Thankfully, I don't let it come this far all the time  ( I go to fashion college, remember, where people might actually notice what you're wearing). But on the earliest, longest days, I am guilty to have grabbed two pieces of clothing in the morning and put them on without a single glance in the mirror. Gosh, it hurts to write this. Some days, I don't even put on lipstick. Not stain, either. Not a single swipe. I know. I shouldn't let this happen to me.

Furthermore, I eat mostly crap and don't even care. I'm known for refusing to even put things I don't like the taste of near my mouth, so I'm not always up for lunch; and if I'm not, I'll eat chocolate. I'm a firm believer that chocolate is, in fact, a form of nutrition. If I come home hungry, I'll be incredibly impatient (hence the almost-crying incident), so it's not exactly egg whites and chicken breast for dinner but rather mac and cheese (seven minutes in the pan, perfect cooking time in my opinion).

Studying - or not. Or always. Some days, I enjoy the bliss of ignorance (it is so real) to the point where I truly believe I don't have any work to do. Some days, I sit in front of my laptop for hours (not necessarily studying, but unable to do anything else, either). Both doesn't seem to be quite healthy. I prefer the first extreme. In fact, I'd actually really prefer it if I could just do what I need to do and do it fast. I know I did that before, so it should be possible. I just need to remember how exactly.

Moaning about the above mentioned things to anyone I talk to and praying they will continue talking to me despite me moaning. Personally, I feel the need to hysterically scream every time I start a sentence with "I still need to do so much stuff". My voice memos consist of "and now I need to do this and that....and I should have done that but I only did this because I didn't want to, and I still don't want to, and I will never want to, but I will have to do it....". Thank God I don't have to listen to them and be bored into sleep myself.

This is why I'll stop now.

How cliché are you? Don't pretend you're not.

Love,

Rosy Smith