Blessings of public transport....

....oh, where do I begin. The most obvious one, I guess, are delays. I've started dreading the train announcments 'cause they usually crash all my hopes on getting home at a decent time and make me go through various stages of emotions, from hysteric rants in public to equally hysteric laughter to zen-like smiles which are, actually, hysteric as well. And that happens at least once a day.

So, when the train is finally being announced, at last, I grab my 200 pound bag from next to me on the chairs in the smoker's zone 'cause they're the only ones available, cough the smoke out of my lungs, get into an expectant position - and almost fall onto the tracks trying to catch a glimpse on the "arriving train", because it's not arriving within the next five minutes people. Zen-like smile.

If I'm lucky, I get a seat. If not, I'm blocking the hallway, feeling like I'm about to pass out on my heels in the murderous heat 'cause I can't take off my coat, drawing inapropriate comparisions between animal wagons and our current situation, praying that I smell nicely 'cause I'm holding onto the ceiling above a guy's head. What happened to the whole guys standing up for ladys tradition, anyways? I get so passive aggressive, in fact, that I have thought of a system where everybody has to hold little signs stating when they'll get off so that people like me who commute can sit down instead of those who are resting their poor body for a single stop. Like, that should be a law.

The funny thing is, most of the time, I could practically take a nice walk alongside the train, because it is SO damn slow. It's like it couldn't hold in its delay schedule if it would actually function according to its purpose, and that would be such a shame, wouldn't it.

Moreover, a couple of weeks ago, I slipped on the bus and pirouetted straight into this guy I'd been eying for the whole ride, elegantly swearing. All I remember now is that his face was basically in breathing distance to mine and he grinned weirdly and I said sorry and twirled right back into position thinking unspeakable thoughts and holding on to the grab handle like I was paid for holding on to poles (ain't I witty). The moral of the story is that you get WAY too close to random people on public transport. I have to hold on to stranger's shoulders to get off the train without falling flat on my face. I have to share a 4 seat compartment with three old men drinking beer straight out of the bottle (isn't that a violation to some sort of code?). I have to endure some pre-med student's arm brushing along my leg 'cause he genuinely doesn't mean to harass me but can't put his stupid jacket on any other way! I've developed a pretty effective technique to do so without touching anyone. I'd be happy to draw you a chart, lovelies.

I'll stop now before I use any swear words (I'm proud I've made it this far), but without a doubt there'll be more of these.

Can't wait.

Love,

Rosy Smith