The Trouble with (not) Texting
Say you met at a party. He was nice, you were reserved as you always
are but flashed him some smiles, and soon you caught him looking at you
with what he probably thinks is flirtation. Someone should tell him
that these half-opened eyes might seem a little creepy to girls.
Anyways, he followed you outside when you left and asked for your number
and you thought it was only polite to give it to him.
So far, so simple.
The next morning, you woke up to a late text, saying : Have a good night and sweet dreams!
You screenshot the text and send it to your best friend. You respond. And that’s when the trouble begins.
Your thoughts might go a little like this:
10 am. Wow, I am surprised that he actually texted me, but in a
good way. That was a sweet text, he might do it
again.
11 am.
I know he stayed at that party way longer than I did. He’s probably
sleeping in till like, 12.
12 am. He’s gonna check his phone soon now. My best friend is
expecting more screenshots, so hurry, boy.
1 pm. I’ll get food. I need to stop looking at the screen, it
will more likely get here while I’m
away.
2 pm. I am honestly kinda annoyed with this. Should I have asked a question? Did his phone die? Did HE
die? Was the only purpose of him asking for my number to wish me a good
night? How messed up would that be. Was he so drunk that he’s
embarrassed about even asking me? Or was my answer not encouraging
enough? In both cases, he needs to chill the hell out.
3 pm. That’s it. I might delete his number. No, that would be
childish. I am simply going to take my own time replying to him, if he
ever comes around that is. Seriously, you cannot expect a lady to even
consider further contact with you if you treat her like that. Next one, please!
Now listen well, Do Not- and I repeat, NOT,:
Doubletext. That’s reserved for seriously good friends who cannot
ditch you even though the sight of 13 new messages makes them want to.
Do not let some stupid guy who doesn’t know the rules of polite texting
take you down with him.
Google Reasons Guys Don’t Text Back. That’s a lowpoint. And there’s no reason, really.
Bite your nails. Who is he to make you violently ruin your perfectly good manicure ? That’s right, NO ONE.
Grief. No mental slideshow of romantic situations. Under absolutely no circumstances, do ya hear me? That’s gross. You don’t even know that guy. He could play the horn for all you know.
Just keep that image in your head. That’ll help, trust me.
Bite your nails. Who is he to make you violently ruin your perfectly good manicure ? That’s right, NO ONE.
Grief. No mental slideshow of romantic situations. Under absolutely no circumstances, do ya hear me? That’s gross. You don’t even know that guy. He could play the horn for all you know.
Just keep that image in your head. That’ll help, trust me.
Love,
Rosy Smith
4 pm. God, I hate him.
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