Living Life On A Saturday

Me to me: "Sooo, we're gonna fucking write a blogpost now". That's why we're here now.

I'm having a reality show about birthing on in the background by the way, so if I yell "No you don't and you never will" I'm referring to the husband telling his wife "I know how hard it is". You know, I am all for the nice tradition of having the men wait in a nice hallway in white shirts with the collar open and smoke cigars together.

Alright, back to me. I've been having a marvelous weekend so far and by marvelous I mean it pretty much sucked.

Thursday. I feel a bit of a cold creeping in, a feeling which is only fueled by the view outside my window (through which a freezing drift is coming through to enhance things nicely), where the trees are bending in unhealthy-looking angles and everything's hella wet. A mixture of actually feeling sick and being unorthodox enough to calculate myself some more time to prepare the apartment before my oldest friend comes to visit tomorrow sends me home early from work. I freeze my butt off on the train for twenty minutes and then stand in a huddle at the bus stop for another six minutes, which never happens because usually the busses come every three minutes or so, but today's the day fate decided to keep us waiting in the drizzling rain to give us the full Chinese-Water-Torture-Experience. When I finally get off the bus, the rain has reached Niagara level and the storm is being called "hurricane" on the news and I get soaked all through my fancy dress pants in the span of thirty seconds and the cross of a street. I'm close to tears when I drop my keys in the bulding and have to crouch down and feel my wet pants on my knees.

Okay, now I've made soup, I've poured tea, I've necked my meds, I've changed into fleece pants and got Friends running. My Sim Plumbob (just googled that. I always called it "thingie") is green again. But my head kinda hurts.

Later on Thursday. My head is killing me whenever I move. So I don't. I fell half-asleep on the sofa and now I can't get up because my head will explode.

The bathroom is a mess. There's towels and fancy pants on the floor. The kitchen is a mess. The sofa is a mess. Even if I miraculously feel better tomorrow morning I will have to stay home to make this place presentable to the public. But as of now, I can't even bend to pick up a towel, so I stagger back to bed at eight pm and ignore that. Gosh I'm cold. Or hot. It's changing so quickly, I can't tell.

Friday. So apparently I had a fever yesterday for the first time in years. It's gone now, so I've started cleaning the place a little. But wait, what's that on my feet?

I have weird red dots all over my feet and my left hand and my oldest friend is gonna be here in six hours. Eek. Google says it's Hand Foot Mouth disease. It sounds awful. Guess I'll run over to the doctor's office. For a cold. Yeah. 

(Great, now I want a baby. And a C-Section.)
 
The doctor didn't seem familiar with my diagnosis and says it's nothing but I'll believe her because it's more convenient that way. However, the storm from yesterday seems to have gotten worse after I blacked out in fever and now my friend can't get up north. Apparently we're all cut off from the train system. Cool, cool.

(Oh my Gosh that Amazon commercial with the dog and the baby always makes me cry.)
Saturday. Woke up to a (finally) clean apartment, the (devastating) news that there's still no train connection and my friend won't make this weekend, and a (slightly alarming) new set of red dots all over my fingers.

Later on Saturday. I'm alone until Tuesday (when I go back to work), it's raining so I'm stuck in here and my fingers are itching whenever I touch stuff (typing this is lots of fun, by the way) and I think I might have the plague. Maybe I should go to a bar in my neighborhood. But then again, is it the smartest thing to do two days after getting struck down by the slightest trace of a virus, to fling myself into the rain in a short skirt? And I'd have to wear a short skirt or I wouldn't be comfortable going out alone. I'm a bright trailblazer for feminism. Also, my hands feel like I'm infecting everyting I touch with some unspeakable disease, which I probably don't, but it's not the most social feeling in the world. Do people even chat up girls sitting alone in bars, drinking apple juice? I mean fun groups of friends who'd like to add me to their group, just like the original Friends did with Rachel, not sleezy guys who think I'm a prostitute. I guess I'd have to try and see. Would my friends chat up a girl like that? Probably not- we'd probably think of some ridiculous reason for why she's there, though. It's probably too early to go out, anyways. It's pretty dark already, though.

Poor midwives must get hit all the time for sounding so chipper. But they also must get lots of "I'm  sorry I hit you" cards.

Hope you have a good weekend.


Love,

Rosy Smith