Happy Birthday To You...
….if
it’s your birthday today, then please do feel adressed. And if it’s
not, well, any day is a good day for cake and feeling good about
yourself, so take my best wishes for that!
The real birthday kid, anyways, is my high school crush. You know, the one who has it all: he’s charismatic, he’s smart, he’s the original band guy and he’s seriously hot. Yeah, well, and he’s four years older than me and might still have a girlfriend and my mom introduced us once and I said “hi” in such an awkward way I could still kick myself for and now he lives in an different city ( but we’re Facebook friends, at least! Damn that was a bad one). I’m fine though, I’ve arranged myself with the fact that we’re not going to go on a romantic getaway to Paris (long story) anytime soon. But every once in a while I see him play somewhere and it gets seriously bad again. Recovery approx. 12-48 hours.
So as you may gather, I don’t really have anything to do with the festivities of today, but it makes me think of him in all his gorgeousness. Also, the obvious question occurs: Do I congratulate him on Facebook or not? Because if I do, there are three possible consequences:
A: He doesn’t react in any way because he is so popular that he cannot even see every single one of all the Happy Birthday posts and images and video messages and whatnot. He doesn’t even know where to place me in his endless history of acquaintances. Hence, I will feel stupid for merrily pretending we know each other and the lack of attention will leave me cringing again, just like that time I went to one of his concerts at 14, clad in black like a super cool punk groupie and So. Not. Memorable.
B: He likes the post. Fullstop. Leaving it to me to be unbearably dissatisfied, because seriously, that has been an absolute pointless, solely stressful undercourse.
C: He sees it, likes it, comments it, remembers me, stalks my profile, thinks I’m pretty, messages me, we exchange phone numbers, meet up, fall in love and live happily ever after. Or something in that sorta style.
Sure, C might not exactly be the shortest option at hand but it MIGHT happen lovelies! A girl can dream, right?
After outweighing the amount of possible cringe vs happiness in relation to the current amount of desparation I came to the decision to blow this year’s shot at public admiration/embarrassement and go for a different medium instead : Welcome to my High School Crush Appreciation Post!
Hon, I hope you value the fact that you get a personal shoutout in honor of your birthday. I’ll be over here valuing the fact that you don’t have a girlfriend anymore. See you in Paris!
Love,
Rosy Smith
The real birthday kid, anyways, is my high school crush. You know, the one who has it all: he’s charismatic, he’s smart, he’s the original band guy and he’s seriously hot. Yeah, well, and he’s four years older than me and might still have a girlfriend and my mom introduced us once and I said “hi” in such an awkward way I could still kick myself for and now he lives in an different city ( but we’re Facebook friends, at least! Damn that was a bad one). I’m fine though, I’ve arranged myself with the fact that we’re not going to go on a romantic getaway to Paris (long story) anytime soon. But every once in a while I see him play somewhere and it gets seriously bad again. Recovery approx. 12-48 hours.
So as you may gather, I don’t really have anything to do with the festivities of today, but it makes me think of him in all his gorgeousness. Also, the obvious question occurs: Do I congratulate him on Facebook or not? Because if I do, there are three possible consequences:
A: He doesn’t react in any way because he is so popular that he cannot even see every single one of all the Happy Birthday posts and images and video messages and whatnot. He doesn’t even know where to place me in his endless history of acquaintances. Hence, I will feel stupid for merrily pretending we know each other and the lack of attention will leave me cringing again, just like that time I went to one of his concerts at 14, clad in black like a super cool punk groupie and So. Not. Memorable.
B: He likes the post. Fullstop. Leaving it to me to be unbearably dissatisfied, because seriously, that has been an absolute pointless, solely stressful undercourse.
C: He sees it, likes it, comments it, remembers me, stalks my profile, thinks I’m pretty, messages me, we exchange phone numbers, meet up, fall in love and live happily ever after. Or something in that sorta style.
Sure, C might not exactly be the shortest option at hand but it MIGHT happen lovelies! A girl can dream, right?
After outweighing the amount of possible cringe vs happiness in relation to the current amount of desparation I came to the decision to blow this year’s shot at public admiration/embarrassement and go for a different medium instead : Welcome to my High School Crush Appreciation Post!
Hon, I hope you value the fact that you get a personal shoutout in honor of your birthday. I’ll be over here valuing the fact that you don’t have a girlfriend anymore. See you in Paris!
Love,
Rosy Smith
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