They celebrate graduation for a reason....

....Remember middle school? Yeah, I know you don't want to, but remember that guy who's new in class and the other boys don't really like him and he's trying really hard to be funny and you just can't bear that sad sight so you decide to be nice to him and flash him some smiles? Big mistake, as you find out when he develops a (thankfully not long lasting, since you're actually pretty mean) crush on you and starts to text you things like "What's for homework" and won't shut up when you answer. After a while, even his neverending chipperness and brazen-faced confidence faded away and he moved on to people more willing to put up with him. Everything's just fine, right?

Until one random morning in May he hits me up again without a warning and I feel like I'm back in 2011. Obviously, I screenshot (something I wasn't able to do then, I'm just realizing) our awkward "so, what are you doing with your life" (as if I really care) chat and send it to my loveliest friend (a witness of time who doesn't recall his name at first, that's how memorable he is).

Oh, now he's asking me to a party at his sorority's house. I'm not that familiar with sororities due to me going to a school where everything's done differently because that's so much cooler, and I'm not excited to see this guy again, so I don't break into grateful applause. Instead, I take a trip down memory lane and consider lying to him about having a boyfriend just to get him off my back, the way I stupidly did a long time ago, but then it hits me: I don't technically have to lie about that one. I mean, someone certain and I are not keen on discussing these sorts of terms exactly, but he exists (didn't I mention?), and he won't find out, so I demonstratingly ask "Can I bring my boyfriend?" - and he turns into a proud aunt/ totally annoying brat, saying "awwww" and stuff that makes it pretty obvious that a), he still thinks we're 14, and b), doesn't have anything fun to bring into the conversation. I'll have to lay this into someone else's hands....

Now, to make the throwing back scenario perfect, my loveliest friend and I are lying on her bed, team-texting. Team-texting is a word I just coined and the way almost every chat with any guy I've been friendly with has happened. The great thing about it is that your part of the talking benefits from the wittiness of not only one but two people, and it's way more objective. Meaning that if you're biased and feel like your perfectly funny response could be too far-fetched, someone else virtually (or literally) presses send on your behalf. Also, if you're with your loveliest friend, she'll bring out the humor in you and you'll be trying to get her laughs, so you'll be much braver. Anyways, it's just like good old times  - the noisy guy is becoming unnerving, asking for details about someone certain which I don't care to tell him about, so we reply criptically: "Green eyes, brown hair, it was a golden day in September when I first laid eyes on him...." I think that sounds much prettier than blahblah about a name and a college course. It's not even half-true, of course (tricked ya!), but that's not the point, is it?

However, even though it's very good fun sometimes to have a nice little play-pretend chat, it comes to an end, too. That is, when the guy gets irrationally stuck up about his sorority, I stop replying, he asks about that weird party, I see it but can't answer (I swear I couldn't), when I do (tell him no, I need to catch up on my schoolwork), he accuses me of lying (just because I wasn't behind when we were in school together. I'll admit I exaggerated a and could probably have made it, but doesn't he know that I tried to kindly blow him off?), and when I ignore that (I mean, that was plainly impolite), he goes "Well, goodbye Rosy" - seriously?

So obviously, ignoring someone's WhatsApp message equals breaking contact forever and ever and not on good terms, either.

Well, I didn't know that. But it's okay by me.

I'm busy, anyways. Stay curious!

Love,

Rosy Smith