The danger of leather jackets....

....you know, the kind guys wear to parties to make it look like they tried at least a bit to get dressed up even though they're essentially only wearing a jeans and a tshirt. But let's face it, it's not a bad style. Unless you're bad looking. In that case a leather jacket probably wouldn't change that. But let's not get judgy and off-topic.

Those jackets do not only spice up a guy's outfit, they also serve in the process of picking up girls. Imagine this: A party in the middle of a chilly April with fireworks at midnight, you wearing a short black dress with bare shoulders and a boy who's been the only one left sitting with you having that obligatory jacket on. He's walking behind you as you step into the breathtakingly cold air and in the corners of your eyes, you notice him taking off his jacket; good for you, as he's now about to wrap it around your shoulders.
What you think: Great, at least I won't be freezing to death.
What he thinks: Great, now she and I are an item for the night.

So, when you hug the birthday boy you're holding on to that jacket so it doesn't slide down, and its owner is standing next to you as you watch the fireworks, and when the cake is cut you walk up the stairs together and sit down with your legs touching, and when he has his arm 'round your back you're beginning to think it might have been crucial to mention that you kinda, almost, sorta are in a relationship. And that it might be a bit awkward if you go "well that's funny 'cause my boyfriend said the same thing the other night" when you're standing outside while he has a cigarette, wearing his jacket again. So you try not to stray too far from the crowd in order to not technically be alone with him because in a movie, he would try to kiss you, and movies are evidentially a reliable source for all things concerning boys.

See how that damn leather jacket blew everything out of proportion? You were simply trying to have a good time and a nice chat with someone who happened to sit next to you because you didn't know anyone else at that party, and suddenly the girls are giving you suggestive looks and the guys are closing doors behind you "to leave you alone". It's like he's put a button in your ear or a brand sign on your butt or something. It's not very feminist. And it's definitely annoying.

After living with that realization for about an hour filled with conscious scooting to the side and keeping your eyes on the floor, it's time to go home. So you leave and decide to avoid every body contact by clumsily waving at everyone within a five mile radius and basically running out of the room, your heels way too loud on the wooden stairs. Then, you bump into your host, and you hug him goodbye because he is the sweetest, and then he's all like "Let's do something soon" and you're all happy, and then he clears his throat and looks a bit uncomfortable and asks: "What was going on between the two of you, anyways? Is there something going on?" And you want the floor to open beneath your feet, because the only thing more embarrassing than getting accused of hooking up with a random stranger who's also a friend of the host whose birthday it is is actually being guilty of doing so. And it doesn't really make things better when you state that the reason why you're demonstratively saying "NO NOTHING AT ALL" is that you kinda, almost, sorta, are in a relationship. Because now, people aren't only confused but also alienated. And you really liked that birthday boy.

Take my advice, lovelies, and refuse to take the leather jacket. Except if you're trying to get the guy (or, at least, wouldn't mind it too much).

Love,

Rosy  Smith