Could say this matches the marriage theme but actually, just wanted to show off the dress

 Because why the hell not?

I mentioned before that I'm going to the gym now. Well, I've stopped. Because as far as flirting with the young instructor goes, he now feels it would be unprofessional to further pursue our flirtationship at the same time as him being my instructor, so obviously I quit the instructing part for the sake of my satisfaction. You haven't seen the chest on that man. Also, what a way to save money, am I right?

Mind you, I don't want to be his girlfriend. I'm unhappily in love with someone else, thank you very much. The last thing I need is a boyfriend I have to explain my sudden outbursts into tears to. But oh my gosh, those arms. Anyways, I made that very clear to him. I have a feeling that he's also unhappily in love with someone else still, so we're actually perfect for each other, speaking unhealthy-rebound-wise.

Now we crossed that tmi-line for good.

Meanwhile, other people are getting married. Remember that one guy my bestest friend very, very briefly dated two years ago? That slightly weird one who seemed to support kitchen kisses with other couples at that party? Yeah, he's getting hitched next year to his former on n off girlfriend from overseas. I am feeling a multitude of feelings towards these news, which is probably more than I should be, considering that I'm not really much acquainted with the happy couple. But think about it:

Firstly, how weird is it that my friend can now say "That one guy I once dated is currently on his honeymoon" or "Oh I don't know her, but I went out with her husband a few years ago"? How did we get this old? I mean, sure, they're also on the younger side in the marriage business, but still, it kinda freaks me out. Remember, I'm currently being complimented on my butt by a complete stranger and that is the maturity level we're at. Secondly, I know this guy through my certain someone and I so wish I could trash this topic with him instead of just imagining his side of the conversation while staring out the window with an amused look on my face. Also, and don't ask me how the decision of an almost-stranger does that to me, but it brings up all kinds of sorrowful thoughts and general anxiousness linked to the fact that I'm not in a position to call up my certain someone for the aforementioned trashing.

I like to pretend time is standing still.


Love,

Rosy Smith

I sure did! No worries, I'm still here, back at school, physically unharmed except for the big scratch on my underarm that my cat gave me - love hurts, lovelies.

So what's going on? The semester started a month ago but, as always, I didn't do nothin' to get my projects started until this morning. It's tradition. This is the final stretch, and it comes in the form of me creating a literary magazine. Why yes, three years of fashion have sure ruled out that topic for me. I'm all for this, actually, creating my own vision and ladidaa. Let's just hope that "I work best under
pressure" line works out once again, shall we?

I'm being a good girl and going to the gym. Not to work out, God forbid, but I'm taking classes like I did in Hamburg, stretching and stuff. Using the steam room, drinking protein shakes at the bar with my oldest friend and flirting with the young instructor - isn't that what gym life is all about? And it gives me something to do in the evenings when I'd usually just come home from college and cry about the fact that the day is already over. Which brings me to the next point:

Keepin' busy is key to survive senior year in style. I'm dead tired every single day, but it's the good kind of tired, which is not owed to working too much (I know, that is probably a bad thing given the deadlines) but to having too much fun things to do at night.

That sounds so wrong. Let me give you an example, I went to that yearly birthday party (I guess they're all yearly, but whatever) this weekend, and this time, I didn't meet any creepy guys, but I had a heart to heart with the host who is most definitely the sweetest thing alive. He's just come back from traveling to all kinds of crazy places and now he's producing his own music. Meanwhile, I'm still trying to figure out if I should wear a fringe (I'm leaning towards no, by the way)

All by myself....we ain't big on attendance

 What I'm saying is, I found that I get less cry baby-ish over my stupid commute (we can actually almost count down the days as far as that's concerned - only three more months!) if I gotta rush to the next event that same day, be it drinks in the city or a nice night of catching up with my bestest friend. She's got a boyfriend now, and he seems to be absolutely adoring, which I like to hear about, because it makes me very happy (so he better watch out and keeps it this way, 'cause I hate disappointment).

Writing and working and writing some more - that's what I want to do, all the time, because the doom of going out into the world and having to get a job and buying my own pasta and learning about laundry detergent is hovering upon me, and these are the only things I know to get prepared. Oh, and a good manicure paired with Rouge Dior. That never fails to help.

Good to be back.

Love,

Rosy Smith

I went on a little European adventure to visit my loveliest friend abroad, and I fell in love with Italy all over again (the first time I did was in 2016 when us two summered in the most adorable town by the sea and got us our very own gang with a quaint but nice neighbour)....

It's not always hot. In fact, the first thing I saw getting off the plane was the snowflakes falling down at crazy speed. Good thing I traveled in the fuzziest clothes I own, my black fake fur and a long wool skirt that made me look like one of the Olsen twins in their homeless-chic phase, but more on the homeless side (is that politically incorrect or a fashion term or both?).

There's always coffee. It's cheap. And it's good. I didn't even need caramel flavored syrup and chocolate infusions to get it down, like I usually would at home. Since the weather wasn't exactly the sunniest and we were more interested in catching up than standing in line for the duomo (it's very pretty from the outside, too) anyways, we made stops for coffee at least twice a day, which could last a couple hours. However, I feel like that's one of the best ways to get familiar with the country; watching people and the city going by and listening to other guests' conversations (even though my Italian is basically at level zero).

Sightseeing means strolling around high fashion stores all day long. The buildings are beautifully built and the clothes are gracefully presented and everyone crossing your way is carrying a well-known purse. Exactly my kind of vacation. Even the corner newsstand hands you a black shopping bag that could easily mean you've been shopping something way more expensive than the latest Vogue. Your crepe literally comes on a golden plate. I wonder what the trashbags look like.


The Lago di Como is a happy place where nothing bad can find you. We followed the weather forecast and took the train (the wrong one, forcing us to freeze on the platform in some village and put on a harmonizing performance of our childhood jams in order to keep warm, probably disturbing everyone else for life), and suddenly, it was 60 degrees instead of 30 and we were wearing sunglasses while drinking our coffee on a sunny piazza. I bought a red bag and red heels (in a store that was probably the Italian equivalent of Target, but still, it's Italian after all) and my loveliest friend got some gorgeous boots and equipped with our new belongings, we climbed up into the mountains (to board a train up to a mansion. Never found the train, almost suffered a heatstroke from unplanned exercise. But the view was awesome). We got ice cream that tasted like the strawberrys were handpicked that same day (a garbage collector came up to me when I was done and said something I obviously didn't understand; I thought he was mad at me for setting my empty cup down and tried to form a sentence swearing that I'd throw it away, but in the end he just took it from me and we left). And we walked all around the lake and watched the sun set over it and the swans swimming and stumbled upon romantic corners and scenic balconies every five steps.


Trains fail you like they do anywhere else, but in Italian. I was already calculating my ride to the airport closely, and when I rushed up to the platform, people were just shaking their heads at me when I asked "Airport?" with wide fear-struck eyes. Cancellato, said the sign, and no official was around to be found and none of the announcements were in English, so I kind of gave in and made my peace with missing my flight and staying another night (it's not the worst to be held up in Milan, is it?). Made it though, with a full ten minutes to spare (and feeling absolutely disgusting in my not-made-for-running-outfit).

I hope your March started off full of dolce della vita. Let's see how the rest of it goes....

Love,

Rosy Smith

Aah, February. What are we gonna do with you. Let's find out, shall we?

This is not the greatest picture ever taken, but it's the only one I could crop myself out of. Not 'cause my friends aren't pretty, but 'cause I'm not sure if they'd wanna be on here

Yeah we went out to celebrate carnival. Interestingly, Hamburg is like, the one place in Germany where they don't actually do carnival, but we tracked down a party, threw together some costumes from scratch and merrily went off (after changing in the fancy foyer bathroom of our workplace, scaring the concierge in the process). When we made it to the location, there were literally fifteen people there, so we refused to waste our hard-earned money and sat down outside, counting the arriving guests. We made minus. Two guys left, but not without coming by and telling us how much that place blew and that we should come with them to another spot, so naturally, we took up their advice and ended up having a lovely night at a very authentic bash right underneath city hall. The lesson here, lovelies: Don't talk to strangers, unless they look like they know where it's going on.

Currently listening to: Cry Baby, by Melanie Martinez, as well as Cry Baby, by Demi Lovato. Different approaches, same belt-out potential. Love me a good "mascara all over my face" aesthetic. You must think I'm such fun at parties, right? But don't you worry, because

I'm all moved back into my parent's house, to finish up my last year at fashion school! I have to say, looking at the still-not-unpacked boxes around me (and the fact that all my clothes are holed up in my suitcase and I am too lazy to hang them up and therefore have nothing to wear at all), there is a certain nostalgia for my spacious, generally orderly apartment with the great shoe rack. However, home does have lots of perks to it, such as fully cooked food at reasonable hours of the day, cough medicine (I'm not an addict, I actually am sick. I think my ribs are broken, but I might have just pulled a muscle while coughing out my lungs. Again, glamorous party trick) and loved ones around.

For instance, I met up with my bestest friend already! She is currently seeing someone new (or rather, new in the sense of him being "seeing" material), and we were wondering: When is the right time to ask to see the other person's health record? Do you just casually whip out your own and say "oh, I just happened to pick this up, why don't you show me yours, too, sometime?" To be honest, I'd probably totally forget about that. Even though it is an important matter and there's no shame in checking your health and ladida, you know I get queasy talking about my UTIs, so how do you expect me to be cool about this? Also, it just seems so unromantic and un-fun and un-spontaneous. But maybe there is some kind of secret code to use? I am a big fan of using secret codes for uncomfortable conversations (remember Sunday?).

Someone who's in a wholly different sphere of being right now is my loveliest friend. She's currently studying in Milan, and if you haven't been hiding from humanity you'll know that Milan fashion week is going on right now - so it's Fendi for lunch and Prada at night for her. Everyone's there, Anna, the other Anna, Olivia, Gigi; notice how I'm already using their first names like I'm a close personal friend? And I'm not even there. Got the pictures to prove it, though. I'm flying out next weekend, which I'm already overly excited about, not 'cause of the fashion (well, a bit, too), but because we'll be finally reunited (my loveliest friend and I, if that wasn't quite clear. It's hard not to get caught up there).

Love,

Rosy Smith

....doesn't make you stronger.


(I just listened to Sara Bareilles' "Brave" and it inspired me. I feel like this song is the perfect excuse for anyone who's already on the verge of sending a risky text.)

If it doesn't kill you, and by "it" I mean great emotional distress, well, that just means one is obviously incapable of physically dying of a broken heart, and that's not even a medical miracle, because it happens rather rarely these days. All those romantic characters from Bronte (I don't know how to do these double dots above the e) stories who kicked the bucket probably weren't in such a good health condition to begin with. You know, pneunomia and all that jazz that comes with living near a moor while dressing in musselin.

One is not stronger. If one was, it wouldn't feel like it's killing them. If one was, they wouldn't have to think about cheesy phrases like that. They would just shine on in their newfound strongness and belt out Kelly Clarkson songs. But they're not, are they? I think it should be "what doesn't kill you shows you how weak you can actually be if you reaally try". Or "what doesn't kill you makes you witness your lowest point, heaving over the toilet because you cried yourself sick, in full consciousness".

Now said Kelly Clarkson song came on in my Spotify mix. That is one cruel coincidence. Well played. I still hate it.

Love,

Rosy Smith

PS: I love most other Kelly Clarkson songs, though. Her new album is great, for instance.

PPS: I got a weird pronoun thing going on here. I tried to be objective.