In relationships - define relaionship however you like at this point - there are lots of things not to worry about. See, the whole point of a relationship is that you won't need to worry about anything but the shaving status of your legs. However, there are so many rules in this world that don't work out the way they're supposed to that I simply can't help but remind you of the crucial matters that come with your first weekend trip away together.

Bathrooms. I'm that far gone with my habit of pretending that human needs do not exist and therefore needn't ever be mentioned that I'll just say the following: Use the foyer bathroom for everything except for showers and makeup applications. It's just more stressfree. You might not always be able to send your company to the balcony, because they might not want to go outside when it's 30 degrees and freezing. I know. Incosiderate of them, isn't it.

Your inexplainable problems with things most people don't have problems with. I for one experience such pure ickiness whenever I have to sleep in sheets that aren't mine. I always keep a special pillow with me that my head doesn't stray from all night long, just so it doesn't touch a piece of strange fabric. I catch colds from the AC 'cause I don't pull the covers up over my shoulders so they don't come near my face. And that's when I'm in those perfectly anonymous hotel sheets. When I'm in an apartment and the linnens are patterned, or crincly, or both - I'd rather not think about how uncomfortable those nights will be. I know they're all clean, I still find it revolting. Now I've told my company about that - he still got us an apartment and I'm praying for white linnens or I already see myself freezing without any cover at all, clutching that pillow I've had forever.

The check question lasts three days long. I rarely get out my purse fast enough to credibly assure him that I do want to pay for myself, but that doesn't have anything to do with me not really wanting it - I'm just not always listening to the waiter/waitress so I don't catch what's going on fast enough to yell "I'll take my share!" before he mutters softly (like a real gentleman who doesn't talk about money) "It's okay". Also, he always pays for both of us or just himself, but I never take it all on me 'cause I'm a bad person. That might be okay for a dinner or a movie, but I definitely won't be ripping him off for every breakfast, lunch, dinner, coffee, cocktail and museum. I need to work out a plan, like, letting him get dinner because that's romantic and share lunch and breakfast because no one needs that and take the drinks on me because "Thank you for dinner". Gosh, I know why no one likes to talk about that kind of thing: Not because it's obscene, but because it gives you a headache.

The food routine in general. Are we gonna go out for everything? Cause I would like that. There's something about imagining us sitting around a breakfast table full of food that makes me sick that is seriously disturbing to me. Homely scenes only appeal to me at nighttime. You know, sitting in front of the fireplace with a bottle of wine, watching a movie with a bottle of wine, the likes. Does he even eat all of the meals I need to have in order to survive/be satisfied? I know he's one of those admirable people who can wait for lunch until 3 pm when nothing comes up before that - I'm not. Except for when I'm really happy (strange but true). In conclusion, he better keep my spirits up!

His reaction to the absolutely ridiculous amount of stuff you turn up with. He might have thought I'm a pretty reasonable person, but that illusion is gonna be a fargone memory as soon as he sees the five pairs of shoes and the three kinds of jackets I am bringing for two nights away. Not to mention the content of my carry-on suitcase. I started off by laying out outfits on my bed and color coordinating skirts with cardigans and following all those packing advises and ended up throwing everything in that I saw in my closet and that looked like it could be worn under a coat. Which is a lot, if you ever wondered. Oh, well.

I bet there's something I didn't even think of yet. Please don't tell me - I'm relatively calm as of now, and that's irritating enough as it is. Until Sunday....

Love,

Rosy Smith

Two days before we leave and I still don't have a clue what I'm gonna wear. It's not always that way - in fact, when we're gone for the whole summer, it's fairly easy for me to decide what to bring; everything.
However, since we're only staying out for two nights, I struggle with every piece of clothing I own. Is this really what I want to wear to Dinner on Christmas Eve? Are those PJs the right level of coziness?  Don't I have something even more appropriate for a tea party? What do people even wear to tea partys these days?

I have even tried googling "packing for three days", mostly out of curiosity, and was astonished that there were countless tips for people who are going on a six week adventure trip through the jungle ('cause that's obviously the majority of America, if you'll believe the internet) but not a single one suited for my specific dilemma (I'll admit that my research didn't go further than the first page of suggestions -hey, this isn't my dissertation). So, I decided to enlighten others, who are desperately looking for a similar instruction, with my realizations.

Open your closet. Don't be overwhelmed by all these racks of clothes and let them lead you to think that this is gonna be easy. About eighty percent of those are probably either summer dresses or plain shirts you never wear in your daily life and you're most certainly not going to start now, when there's only three days to dress.

Systematically go through them. Throw everything that doesn't scream "nice christmassy hotel, casually groomed, okay with flat shoes" into one corner and the rest into another. I suggest putting on Lady Antebellum's album "Own The Night" in the background, so you can put all of your past-crushes-passion into the task at hand while getting really emotional 'cause that music makes you want to have a romantic but sad country-song relationship so that you can smash out those lines with real pathos.

 You said you'd be there....you said we'd last forever....oooooh back when you were mine....

Now, concentrate and select all items that are long sleeved. If  you're anything like me, that's a good trick to get rid of about half of everything in any situation. I have just found out that I didn't buy a single long-sleeved shirt this year. That sounds so wrong to me. I need to go shopping before New Year's Eve or else I won't feel like I have done this winter-thing right. When you're on a winter holiday, you wear long-sleeved. Otherwise, how would that look, if you were sporting some three quarter length frilly blouse in front of the picturesque fireplace at the lodge.

Anyways, after that, look at all Christmas pictures from last year and ban everything you've been wearing on there. Sadly, I seem to choose the same three items over and over (another reason why I need to go shopping so badly), 'cause I feel like they're the most appropriate of all my things to wear for breakfast buffet, lunch in the lounge (sounds stupid) and a nice walk around the estate.

Personally, I think it's important to bring jazzpants to wear underneath those big fluffy robes for when you're plastered all over the bed watching festive TV and consuming your weight in chocolate. And some good thighs that suck in your belly for dinner.

Oh, right, that's actually the best part: For dinner, think of the prettiest cocktail dress you own at the moment: that's Christmas Eve. The second prettiest one, probably the one you wore on C.E. last year, is Christmas Day. There you go.

Yeah, I know, now we have to stress about the shoes, which are indeed a crucial and complicated part of the whole process. You'll need one pair for the previously mentioned walk outside, some chelsea boots maybe, then some flats for inside the hotel, as it's pretty warm in there and "real" outside boots would be way too harsh, and of course, lovely heels for dinner. I'd like to take one pair for each dress respectively, but I guess I'll have to settle on one so that we won't have to leave some gifts at home for my shoes' sake. Even though I hope that's pretty safely not gonna happen.

I hope I was helpful. If you're still in a mess, there's lots of  time left to figure it out. Or, to put it differently, a whole day to hit the boutiques!

Love,

Rosy Smith